Addressing our Codependency

Many of us are unaware of the self-limiting and self-sabotaging behavior patterns that have been repeated and promoted throughout history in to moder society. Through media, movies, lack of correct information and blocks to therapy access. Codependency can range from addictive behaviors like overconsuming news media and videos to relying too heavily upon the opinions of peers, making decisions against our desired outcomes for the satisfaction of notoriety or pleasing others. Often, we don’t even realize or are cognizant that the decisions we make are to our detriment. So what can be done, how to address the root of the issue? Therapy is very important; however, it can be difficult to find the right medical professional and there are monetary blocks to access that have left many without and connection to care. There are many self-help books available and are easily accessed by internet or book stores.

Facing codependency details the disease of and symptomology of codependency, how to recognize it and the harm it can cause in the lives of those who struggle. From the perspective of self-discovery, the author Pia Mellody identifies the five main symptomology around what codependency is and how it can be hidden beneath people pleasing and other addictions.  The idea of study begun though her own experiences with anxiety, anger and fear around a profound lacking feeling without any guide to what she was experiencing; she pieced together despite her best efforts of working within the medical field that she was living an unauthentic detached and disrupted life. She paints a hopeful recognition of symptoms around learning to cope and heal the parts of self that have become dysfunctional and profoundly unwell, unlearning patterns and belief systems that were learned within the development of childhood from the caregivers. Recovery is possible from patterns that are played out through negative control mechanisms and resentment that sabotage the person’s desire for cohesive and intimate relationships. Codependency can affect all areas of life and impair the ability to sustain intimacy in all relationships, most importantly how a person shows up in the world. Often it can be overshadowed by addiction as it has a component of avoiding reality, as people who struggle can seem like an adult in many ways yet feel fearful, confused and immature. To avoid these feelings of discomfort many of those who have learned the helplessness of codependency often experience addiction, physical and mental illness.

The chapters of this book highlight several points of how codependency manifests in actions and details how it evolves into negative and self-sabotaging traits that can exacerbate the suffering within a person’s life. This eye-opening perspective can help those who are struggling begin to identify and heal parts of themselves that have seemed confusing and destructive in life for quite some time. This is highly effective for those who are tuned into a guide of self-identification for previously unknown and lightly covered disorders within the DSM-V, where many disorders have similar symptoms yet the details for these symptoms are misunderstood or difficult to realize. As core symptoms influence other types of behavior seemingly unrelated, it can become a maze of inappropriate actions with little recognized patten to begin connecting. Many of those who struggle have defenses against recognizing abuse as there is a disruption of reality, someone can rationalize a behavior pattern due to having had no other defense from experiencing similar caregiver behavior during child development. These defense mechanisms can cause behavior that is confusing or distressing where the self becomes distorted and the feelings that were experienced are cognitively understood yet not felt. This leads to a new and altered perspective of behaviors and actions that minimize harm, denies accountability and provides a narrative of delusion for the person to struggle repeatedly with life goals and direction.  This may even be a generational pattern that was a passed down behavior from a dysfunctional family of origin, where their growth and self-actualization was stunted by their parents own inability to recognize codependent or abusive patterns within.

If the reader was a struggling student or someone wishing to understand deeper the reasons why they cannot live a normal life with reasonable guidance or clarity of self-improvement, this is a worthwhile read. This is a great study for therapists and aspiring therapists to help themselves and clients hold a greater understanding of their own behaviors or those of their clients. Pia Mellody is a practicing therapist and helps to detail the challenges of those who are struggling with codependency and how to connect with those who may be developmentally different than Erikson’s or Piaget’s developmental behavior timeline. There is a new perspective behind addiction and the behaviors often masked by using substances, people, or negative behaviors to ignore or cover up emotions within the subconscious and even trapped in the body. This book is one of its kind as Pia Mellody has a recognized authority on the codependence topic, however she has coauthored this book with two other writers Andrea Wells Miller and J. Keith Miller who have contributed several books of their own like the topic. Facing Love Addiction, Breaking Free, A Hunger for Healing and Compelled to Control are other self-education books that cover similar topics as codependency.

References

Heyd, M. (2017). How to write a book review—and why you should. Journal of Hospital Librarianship, 17(4), 349-355.

Mellody, P. (1989, 2003). Title Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives. New York: HarperCollins.

Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. https://authorservices.wiley.com/Reviewers/book-reviewers/reviewing-published-books.html

False Prophets and the illusion of control

The idea of healing and faith has been around a long time. Back to performing miracles in Revival Tents. But this was limited to the guise of religion and only one true GOD. As usual I will be pushing thoughts and ideas that may be uncomfortable, if this triggers you, I may suggest sitting with it. Or perhaps I am not the practitioner for you, which is the point exactly. No one is allowed to tell you how to believe or practice your faith, but this also means you cannot impose upon others your beliefs. Life is fluid and flexible, with no black and white answers or thinking. We belong to the collective consciousness of energy, which means that there is influence of “the all” and not one person is superior or more influential. The illusion is that with followers, media, and attention; the power can be subverted or skewed in a direction to create greater mastery and control. However, this is false. Newtons 3rd law comes into play here:

“Newton's third law says that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

This means that whenever an object moves, pushes or presses another object, the second object reacts by returning the same amount of force.

Objects react by creating resistance, or pushing back.” Newton's Laws of Motion: Newton's Third Law (gcfglobal.org)

Physics is energy that impresses on the physical. It is scientifically tested and applied laws of the universe. Energy work and metaphysics can be hard to intellectually process without faith; and not faith as in a hierarchal belief system taught by religious masters, but the trust in the universal flow that promises tomorrow the sun will rise. But most people want to be told what to believe or think as it is easier to let others search for meaning and glean what they understand, until it isn’t. That is the thing, after time if enough people disregard their own intuition which is the gut feeling when we know what the right thing is to do. Faith is hard as the mind seeks to find logic in all things, we want proof and validation. Many people are atheist due to the oppressive demand of religion on our senses. The assault and trauma of being forced to believe something just “because it works and don’t question it or me”. That asking questions and seeking different cultural beliefs will get you kicked out or in trouble with the natal family. Love us and out beliefs or get out you traitor, just because you ask a question that triggers the very foundation of their beliefs.

“In 1963, Stanley Milgram set out to answer this question. He wanted to test how far individuals would go in order to punish another individual when told to do so by an authoritative figure. The test was rather simple, which no doubt led to its lasting effects within psychological literature. Disguised as a learning experiment, participants were asked to administer electrical shocks to a stranger when they gave incorrect responses to scripted questions. The "shock machine" was labelled with steadily increasing voltages, beginning at 15 volts and increasing right up to 430 to 450 volts, with the last two volts labelled "XXX." In reality, the (hidden) learner was not receiving shocks, yet after each "mistake" the learner screamed with pain to give the illusion of being administered a shock.

The results of this study shocked the world and have been forever echoed in Psych 101 classes across the globe: 65 percent of the participants were willing to administer a lethal shock to the learner, even after the learner had stopped screaming in pain, falling eerily silent during subsequent shocks.

The results were championed as a harrowing explanation as to how the Third Reich could attempt to wipe out an entire race of people, or how the Communist regime could be responsible for the slaughter of millions of its own people.” -Psychology today What They Never Taught You About Obedience to Authority | Psychology Today

This also heavily applies today, during a time of genocide. Perpetrated by on nation believed to be children of God, but also have suffered a great violent oppression in the past. Where there hasn’t been much healing and a great debate on validity of history. The fear of elimination has turned the oppressed into the oppressor. A deep trauma in the general collective as well. Religion has a way of uniting people in a way that no other has quite captured, however governmental leadership, capitalism and advertising have borrowed some tactics. Taking over and rebranding ideas, places and times of celebration. Christmas isn’t truly how it is told, yet we continue to perpetuate the story year after year. Before Christians tuned in the Catholic church coopted the pagan celebration of solstice and Saturnalia.

“Originally celebrated on December 17, Saturnalia was extended first to three and eventually to seven days. The date has been connected with the winter sowing season, which in modern Italy varies from October to January. Remarkably like the Greek Kronia, it was the liveliest festival of the year. All work and business were suspended. Slaves were given temporary freedom to say and do what they liked, and certain moral restrictions were eased. The streets were infected with a Mardi Gras madness; a mock king was chosen (Saturnalicius princeps); the seasonal greeting io Saturnalia was heard everywhere. The closing days of the Saturnalia were known as Sigillaria, because of the custom of making, toward the end of the festival, presents of candles, wax models of fruit, and waxen statuettes which were fashioned by the sigillarii or manufacturers of small figures in wax and other media. The cult statue of Saturn himself, traditionally bound at the feet with woolen bands, was untied, presumably to come out and join the fun.

The influence of the Saturnalia upon the celebrations of Christmas and the New Year has been direct. The fact that Christmas was celebrated on the birthday of the unconquered sun (dies solis invicti nati) gave the season a solar background, connected with the kalends of January (January 1, the Roman New Year) when houses were decorated with greenery and lights, and presents were given to children and the poor. Concerning the gift candles, the Romans had a story that an old prophecy bade the earliest inhabitants of Latium send heads to Hades and phota to Saturn. The ancient Latins interpreted this to mean human sacrifices, but, according to legend, Hercules advised using lights (phos means “light” or “man” according to accent) and not human heads.” -Britannica Saturnalia | Celebration, Sacrifice, & Influence on Christmas | Britannica

There are many historical ideas that have been repackaged and rebranded by the church to promote religion as fun, whilst asking for complete and total allegiance to their cause. Over the years there has been many pursuits of greatness. The Crusades and seeking out “new worlds” for expansion of the Roman Empire, The expansion of the British Empire. Pillaging people for slaves, treasures for gold and riches. Colonialism perpetuated by religion gave Anglo-Saxon culture power to yield over smaller and less violent cultures who communed with the earth and her nature. However, it didn’t guarantee their success or power, many people are experiencing an awakening to their own personal power. There have been many healers and light workers joining a community of those who are guiding others into the light and self-actualization. However, there are many people who have not dealt with their own daemons and shadow side continuing to lead others away from personal power and autonomy. That is why discernment of your beliefs and hope for a better future comes from compassion, kindness and the growth mindset of expansion. Rather than continual compression of the spirit through fear, oppression and denial of the self-governing power of individual thought. Always check the sources of information people use to make their points and do your own research! What do those people stand to gain from your investment?

The atmosphere and Bombs

This might be the sad news we aren’t looking forward to these days, but I’m not always here to deliver the good news. If you want a Tarot card reading on your personal life, you might feel something similar. However, I’m here for warnings, planning and changing course for better outcomes! Optimism is the color of your glasses and the rumination track in your head! Join the mediation group starting 2024 for that mentality shift.

Today we are talking about the middle east or more specifically Gaza and the plight of the Palestinian people. You might be screaming at me, “but don’t you condemn HAMAS??!!?” and let me tell you this is probably not the place for you then. Much of the Zionist intel from Israel has surveilled them for years, so ask yourself then if they knew its creation and location why are they bombing schools and hospitals where children and injured people are? GENOCIDE and land grabs for resources is your short answer. If Israel wasn’t so manipulating the narrative, why do they need to censor pro-Palestinian posts? Beyond that I’ll let you unpack the history on your own time.

We are here to talk about how the situation of climate change is only getting worse and exacerbated by all of the explosives and fire being shot off. Not to mention how much more unpredictable seismic activity will happen if the resources are drilled from the GAZA strip and West Bank (which is also being bombed with no evidence of HAMAS).

According to InsideClimateNEWS.com:

“The United States does report military emissions to the United Nations—sort of. The United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change says that military emissions, if reported, should be included in a category marked “nonspecified.” That same category also includes things like civilian waste incineration, so it’s essentially impossible to parse out which specific emissions come from military sources. And certain major military sources of emissions—like fuel during multilateral operations—are listed in the United States’ reporting as “included elsewhere,” though it’s unclear where. Other categories of military fuel consumption aren’t reported at all.”

As it is well known, the United States continues to be a faithful supporter of the Zionist state of Israel and so who knows how much pollution is coming off of the missile’s sent to blow innocent men, women and children to smithereens. Don’t like that sentence, well neither do I, but denying the reality at this point does no one any good. We need accountability in the pentagon, especially after it failed its most recent inventory audit, YET AGAIN.

“The Pentagon failed its comprehensive audit in fiscal 2020, the third year it has failed since the first audit was conducted in 2018, reflecting system and accounting problems across its vast bureaucracy that could persist until 2027, the department's comptroller said on Monday.” - REUTERS.COM

When it comes to the surface and subsequent layers of the earths crust, when we introduce mining for resources into already fragile or even newly discovered areas, the flow and delicate balance or pressure within the mailable core can become disrupted.

“The virgin state of stress in the earth's crust is disturbed by mine excavations which result in stress concentrations in the rock. Rock emits seismic pulses when subjected to stresses approaching in value the strength of the rock. Mining gives rise to seismic activity ranging from microseismic events radiating 10−5 J (M - 6) to rockbursts or tremors radiating 109 J (M5).

Rock failures in mines fall into four main categories: rockfalls, in which loosened rock falls mainly under its own weight; rockbursts which are violent failures of rock and may cause damage to excavations; bumps, which are violent failures, but which do not cause damage to the excavations; and outbursts in which the rapid release of gas causes rock to be ejected into the excavation. Microseismic activity is associated with all these four categories of rock failure.

Rockbursts and bumps occur in deep metalliferous mines in which thin tabular deposits in strong, brittle siliceous rocks of igneous or metamorphic origin are worked. The seismicity associated with mining appears to have many features in common with those natural earthquakes. However, the mechanics and dynamics of mining can be analysed relatively completely and the excavations provide access to the source region of the seismic events.” (Cook, 1976)

So why are we just hell bent on destruction? Capitalism and greed are endless soul sucking profit chasing beliefs that need to die in 2024. So find your boycott list here and keep pushing at denying your tax dollars to fund destruction. We can make a difference, I promise. Awareness is the key.

LOVE YOU!!!

EMERALD CITY WITCH

New Year New Resolve

After weathering several repeated storms, volcanos, tornadoes, snow, global climate change and the ocean on fire. It is 2022 and this year is a 6 year numerically which means harmony, connections and victorious outcomes. The last two years have been one failure after another for any body of power to have an impact beyond hoping and praying what they’re doing is going to have a successful outcome. We see it in government and then deeper within ourselves. As our internal understanding of the world is reflected to outside and shaping our reality is the key to happiness. Yes, there are forces out of our control, yet we are humans always up for the challenge. If life has been punching us into the gut, what are we ignoring and needing to change that has become untenable the way it is? Make the change, we cannot be afraid of change because it happens whether we want it or not. Better to be ahead of the curve than dragged along with the under toe. Respectfully, not all of us are fired up and still healing our wounds from the last 20 years. Reconciling with our past decisions and the eternal why?? did I have to learn the lesson like this, such the weight of the world on my chest. Diamonds and precious metals are forged within the earth’s crust through pressure and perseverance. We are in the season of Capricorn, a cardinal earth sign so you may feel this extra at this point. Being a master of your own life is harnessing energy that is available and using it to your advantage. Be the magician of your own life and make it happen. But also remember to rest, hydrate, cleanse and balance your energy to make sure you’re creating the correct things and with the right touch. This is where our health is vital. We must be resistant to breaking down as we are the resistance to what seeks to mindlessly destroy the earth for profit. The only outcome to that is our own destruction so the question is: Do you want to live another day or are you resigned to let whatever comes and be run over? There can be a balance of doing and resting to where we can be eternally functioning, you just need the keys to unlock your own internal balance. Please check out my services and tea products.

Sincerely,

The Emerald City Witch

Bleakness

There was an article today talking about how efforts to improve and pledges to assist in climate action are lacking and it has become completely politicized to not want our earth to become uninhabitable. Even with bias and media outlets reporting different things it does have grim outlooks. There are still options, media is sensationalized. There are plenty of forests and several activist groups creating change around the world. Protests at banks are alerting consumers to the infamous ‘line 3’ pipeline being funded by your bank. There is still time, let us not despair. You can join our seed program for 15$ a month and get out there to plant seeds wherever you go. Trees are important no matter the caliber, however I like fruit trees for people to eat and vegetables to pop up randomly like when I was a child. On the eve of the Pisces full moon, which has made me overly emotional about the fate of humanity if we don’t destroy ourselves sooner. The detachment from our survivalist and earthbound mentality has given us too much time spent arguing over mundane and minute details of social order and class. Yes, you read that sentiment right. The terrifying part is that we all have to suffer the consequences together, even if no one agrees on what is going on. So I believe in that order, anarchy has been called up for radical lifesaving change. We must do what ever necessary to help save our planet, even if it means sacrifice the very electronics or lifestyles more modern civilization decided was best. Its time for less. If we keep going, it means it will become forced upon us. Until then my friends.

Welcome to the Earth BLOG!

This has been in the works for some time now, probably given the emergency of a global pandemic and the need to really work toward a sustainable future. I refuse to let corporations win and try to actually make a difference. I love nature: hiking, biking, walking, growing food, breathing clean air. You know all the basics. Some of my favorite places are around here in the Pacific North West that are green and very dense forests, however that won’t stop the destruction of forests for profit. So My mission is to help motivate people to rebel and plant seeds (literally) and in their own community awareness of how the destruction of forests and mining recourses are literally going to kill us, then how can we fight back?

Strength in community and numbers, colonialism and capitalism is a disease on our planet that is a never ending need for input and recourses. Fuck that! Let us all revert back to tribal mentality where we can care for one another on a more personal level as well as break the hold of consumerism and inadequacy midframe

We have work to do, but with the ever changing policy and expansion of an empire mind consistent baby steps are needed. Interested in a “die in” or protest? Follow a water protector or see how to help them fund the work? Need your own centering and rest? (Remember resting when tired helps a warrior sustain their plan and not burn out!) Follow here, Facebook @queenoffireenterprises or instagram @Emerald_City_Witch7

We have the power as people, never forget that, that is the propaganda of those who only glorify success and power through monetary pursuits and qualifies productivity as a measure of worthiness. You are worthy just as you are, existing.

Do not let capitalisms push you to death through despair.

Thank you for reading my tangled web of thoughts,

See you next week for an update.

Frankie Nicole